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I'm Not Falling Down Drunk,
I'm Accidently Horizontal
I often used to find myself face-down in the gutter after a bottle or two of
Rum. Tried to go to sleep with some tramps once. I had been
backstage at a Steve Vai concert, completely pissed, making a total arse out of
myself. At one point, I was on the floor, bum up in the air screaming to
Steve Vai to fuck me. Not that I actually wanted his meat and two veg
anywhere near my bottom, more just to be annoying. It worked as I was
asked to leave. So, feeling a bit sorry for myself, I decided that I
should wander the streets of London and sulk a bit. Then I found some
tramps, sat down with them, gave them all my cigarettes and money getting myself
all comfy in amongst their cardboard abodes. At that moment, I decided
that this was what I wanted to do from now on: be a bum. Fortunately, the
friend that was with me had managed to track me down and rescued me from this
new life...
Ah, glory daze!
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