Chav Genocide NOW - 
As you can probably imagine, being the leading site in the world for Chav Hate T-shirts (it's your own fault, Chavs), we get quite a lot of abuse from that portion of society. Actually, it isn't as much as you might think because, obviously, most of them don't have enough grasp of the English language to cobble a sentence together. But, every now and then, one of them does and it makes for interesting reading. Here is a recent one (left intact so you can lose count of the amount of spelling and grammatical errors):

"wtf! yeh, i know some chav's are total nob heads, but not all of them are, so how can you make a pathetic little website like this? goths, fuck me, they don't know the meaning of having some FUN.. we're just having a laugh, try it, goth's just sit at home and cry, and make no friend's and then say they have no friends, jesus, stop slitting your wrist's and learn how to live your lives and get off your fat ass and delete this website, cos it's fucking weird like goths have some fun in your life, depressed twats, its ur fault that ur depressed so fucking grow up, twat??? x"

To which I replied:

"Dear Millie

Thank you so much for your wonderfully insightful email. It is emails like this that let me know I am doing precisely the right thing. Please do not breed.

It seems that stereotypes of Chavs are just as annoying to Chavs as stereotypes of Goths. Although I do not consider myself a Goth, I am sure that you would consider me a Goth so, just to reassure you, at the moment, I am not crying. I am sitting at home though, but then so are you, so maybe you are part Goth.

As far as I can tell, I have not slit my wrists lately either. Not even for fun, so you are wrong on that score too.

As for being having a fat bottom (I assume that is what you meant by "ass"? Being in the UK, I would say "arse" as "ass" is a donkey), I am afraid I don't. In fact, I am quite ripped. Six pack and everything so, y'know, put that in your pipe and smoke it. I did nearly delete my whole website on your request though. You are right, it is weird. Like Goths. But then, wouldn't life be so terribly dull if we were all the same? And Argos would sell out of Elizabeth Duke jewellery in a nano-second, and imagine how miserable you would be then.

Thank you for your concern over the amount of fun I have. Seeing as, just yesterday, I headlined with my band at a festival, I am on quite a high, so having lots of fun. I wonder what you were doing whilst I was on stage fulfilling my dreams yesterday? Perhaps getting fingered in a McDonalds or something.

The thing I love the most about your email is the kiss at the end. I think this means that you secretly want to bum me. And I don't blame you - I am sure a bit of rough and tumble with a Goth would be right up your alley. It must be annoying having an endless precession of rat featured boys pumping away at your battered and worn fanny night and day.

Have a wonderful day Millie. Please come again.

Zion / smellyourmum.com

PS I was lying about deleting my website."

You have to love her for trying!

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