Fuck Everything And Become A Pirate - Who doesn't want to be a pirate? I don't mean those rubbish Somalian ones that are causing trouble at the moment (where the fuck are their bottles of rum and cutlasses?Useless idiots! Have they never seen "Pirates Of The Carribean"?), I am talking about proper, old-school pirates with Jolly Rogers and everything. I think that being a rock star is kind of the modern day equivalent of being a pirate, just without the sailing, looting, killing and scurvy. OK, so maybe it isn't quite the same, but the wandering spirit and rebellious nature is what I'm getting at. I used to think I was a pirate (not helped by a fan that told me I looked like Johnny D in POTC). I took it just to the point where I drank rum all day long (dark rum, not the girlie clear stuff). It went tits up though when I tried to hijack and land on a Sealink ferry twixt the coasts of England and France. So now I consign myself to just having a cutlass and designing T-shirts about piratical rambustification. Until I get my galleon, of course.
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