The Only Difference Between Tattooed And Untattooed People Is That Tattooed People Are Way Cooler And Can Kick Your Arse! - Well, it's true you know. If you are devoid of tatts, I am cooler than you. FACT. And I can kick your arse. ANOTHER FACT. And It is true of ALL tattooed people. Except people with little rubbish tattoos. I mean the kind that Paul Stanley from Kiss has. Don't get me wrong, I like the guy but, Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, has anyone ever told him that a single rose measuring a centimetre high does not make him tattooed? It just makes him look like a wuss. The worst though are when you see great big huge fat people (normally Chavettes pushing prams) with some little incy wincy tatt buried somewhere on their massive, cellulite-oozing arms. You know the sort, you have to look twice to make sure it isn't a mole. Well, just to be sure, they are NOT cool and they couldn't kick anyone's arse. Certainly not until they stop eating some cake. Of course, I am writing all this under the assumption that the reader has at least one or two decent tatts. That might not be the case, though. Someone out there in the Internet might be reading this who fits the description of the Untattooed or - worse - the Really Small Tattooed (aka Fuck Me, That Hurt More Than I Thought, Better Stop There). In which case, I apologise unreservedly. Yes, I apologise for the FACT that I am COOLER than you and I CAN KICK YOUR ARSE!! Now fuck off and get inked!
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